Free Fallin

Things were bad.  It was so far the worst year we had had together, then things really came crashing down. When I say crashing down I don’t mean that figuratively, I mean it in as literal a way as I possibly can. Something really did come crashing down and that thing was unfortunately, me.

It was September 26th and I was cleaning up the house getting ready for an appointment with Pastor Dave Gardner from our church. I don’t recall what the meeting was in regards to, but whatever it was, I was doing a quick clean up of the house.

Around 12:30 or so I was finishing up the mopping of the upstairs bathroom, and I knew Pastor G was going to be at the house in just a short while so I wanted to change clothes, take a shower and all that good stuff. I had to go downstairs for something or other, I don’t remember what.

I had a clothes basket in my arms, I do recall that, so I might have been taking dirty clothes down to the basement. Whatever the case, when I stepped down onto the first stair I slipped and fell.

I don’t remember passing out, but it is believed that I did. My hand was cut up pretty bad from the textured wall, and I had a very bad bruise on my left hip. The worst part though was my right leg. I didn’t realize at first that something was wrong until I tried to stand up. The pain I felt I can’t even describe. Needless to say I sat back down at once.

Luckily for me I had my cell phone on me when I fell. This is a miracle in and of itself since I NEVER carried my cell phone around with me at the house. I was double lucky it didn’t break. I don’t like hospitals, I hate doctors, and don’t get me started on the way I feel about dentists. So my first instinct was to call Jill at work, I was after all home alone.

When Jill got on the phone with me she knew somethitng was wrong right away. I told her that I had fallen and that I was hurt pretty bad. She, who I have always attested is smarter than me, told me to hang up the phone, and call 911. Being the good and obedient husband that I am, I obliged.

When the EMTs arrived at the house I explained my situation to them, and even though my memory of the events are fuzzy at best, I am sure the fact that I was sitting on the stairs in a puddle of my own vomit (I was told later that I got sick because my body was in shock) would have told them I couldn’t walk let alone get down the stairs under my own power.

For some reason, however, the EMTs were unable to grasp this minor detail of the situation. I had to explain to these wonderful men that if I could have gotten down the stairs I would not have needed them to come to the house to help me. This seemed to have got the message across because they soon brought a chair and as I sat in it they lifted me down the steps one at a time.

When I finally got into the ambulance I was pretty far gone. My blood pressure was through the roof, prompting a very attractive nurse to yell at me to calm down or I would be dead before we got to the hospital. This really helped, or maybe it was the shot of whatever she gave me

When I got to the hospital I was checked in by the same doctor that checked my mother in 3 months earlier. This didn’t help me feel any better.  After all, Mom about killed the doctors and nurses.  So I smiled and told him my problem. They put my info into the computer system, and then sent me to the waiting room. Where I stayed for 3 ½ hours in excruciating pain waiting for Jill to show up

When Jill finally did show up, it was another 2 ½ hours before I was seen by a nurse. I froze by tail off in that waiting room, shock after all is shocking

I was FINALLY shown into a room by a nurse and had some x-rays done of my knee. I was sure all that happened was that my kneecap had popped out of place. When the x-rays came back a nurse practitioner explained I had “twisted” my knee.

Jill astutely asked the nurse “practitioner” why my kneecap was four inches up my thigh. After realizing that perhaps she needed a second opinion it was determined I had severed my patellar tendon.

Your leg has strong rubber bands holding your bones in the right place. Well I had completely cut one of mine in half. This tendon holds your kneecap to your quadriceps (thigh) muscle.

I had to have surgery the next morning or I would never walk again. Jill called a family friend and ran home to get some things to keep us both amused and feed the animals. While she was gone they came and got me for an MRI. This thing scared me to death. Have you ever had an MRI? No? Well its like being put in a coffin from the side. Its this big tube with magnets in it that take pictures of your insides. I was cold, scared, and alone, it SUCKED!!

The next morning I was wheeled into surgery after a quick prayer session with Pastor G and our good friends Art and Yvette.

Obviously I don’t remember the surgery but I was told later that I’d nearly died.  The good doctor nicked one of the big arteries in my leg and I lost A LOT of blood.  Jill was never told about this by the way.  They told me about it in the recovery room.

My nurse was a real genius too.  After a certain number of hours your IVs need to be redone or they get clogged.  When she came in to redo my IV she kept missing my vein.  Fifteen times this lovely woman poked into my arm.  I finally told her “if you touch me with that needle again I’m going to stab you in the heart with it.”

She insisted I needed my pain medicines, I asked her if they were sending the IV home with me and when she said no I told her I would take pills from here on out since I was going home the next day anyway.

When the doctor came in the morning after the surgery to check on me he noticed my drain on my leg was basically empty so rather than being nice about it he just ripped the thing out of my leg telling me “you won’t need that anymore.”  Dr. Danaher might be a great surgeon, but he has the bedside manner House.

I went home two days after my surgery in an ambulance since I couldn’t walk yet.  Jill and a couple friends moved our bedroom downstairs so I wouldn’t have to worry about stairs, which I couldn’t do yet anyway.

Fortunately we had a lot of bedside stuff left over from Mom.  A bedside toilet and one of those hospital tables that has feet that slides under the bed and bring your food right up to you.  We were even able to organize at home physical therapy for me.

I was sent home in a cast and an immobilizer.  I HATED that immobilizer, it was like having a thigh high cast, except made of Velcro.  In two weeks my cast was gone, in four weeks my staples were gone (ouch) and in three months I was without my immobilizer.

When they finally took off the immobilizer I was amazed at the size of my leg.  It was 1/3 the size of my left leg, and VERY weak.  I continued with my physical therapy and going to the doctor.  My doctor as I’ve said isn’t exactly the nicest guy, so I actually gave up on him after a while.  I got to about as good as I’m going to get after about six months.

I’ve had a lot of effects from the accident.  My brain doesn’t seem to make the same connections it used to. I’m not stupid by any means or retarded, but I am slower with grabbing a hold of concepts than I used to be and my short term memory leaves a lot to be desired.

I will forever walk with a cane in the winter time.  Not so much during the summer, but when the snow flies it’s treacherous for me out there so I have to have my cane.  My balance is horrible now too. If I’m not paying attention I can fall over standing still.  I still have some pain, especially when the weather changes, but I’m getting used to that.

1. A Small History Lesson	2. Congratulations It’s A Freak
3. The First Five Years	4. It All Goes Up In Flames
5. School Daze	6. Say What?
7. A New Hope	8. Becoming A Sophisticated Redneck
9. A New Beginning – Literally	10. Back Into the Fray
11. They Like Me, They Really Like Me	12. 10011001
13. Let the Music Heal Your Soul	14. Taking My Sister to the Prom
15. My First Love, My First Broken Heart	16. From Zero to Hero
17. Livin’ On a Prayer	18. Moving On
19. Going Full Circle	20. The Rockford Files
21. Faith of the Heart	22. Partner, Friend, Lover, Wife
23. Turns Out She Was Right	24. A One-Legged Bear
25. Another Victim of the Game	26. Payin’ Bills with my Skills
27. A New Revell-ation	28. A New Page, A New Day
29. R We There Yet?